Good afternoon, Reader!

I hope the week went well for you! Mine’s been busy – juggling my full-time work, motherhood, and content creation – but honestly, it’s been fun!

This week, I concluded a video series called “Different Ways You Sabotage Yourself (Without Realizing It)”, and it was quite a hit across my social channels. So many people messaged me afterward asking for deeper explanations and real-life examples of what to do next.

If you haven’t seen it yet, you can watch the full series here:

We often think sabotage looks dramatic – quitting too soon, blowing up relationships, or wasting opportunities. But most of the time, it’s quiet. It hides in everyday habits we’ve normalized.

Instead of repeating the videos here, I wanted to take it up a notch! Here’s where I share the deeper stuff – the insights, books, and healing tools I reserved just for my Wise & Happy readers (because being here comes with perks 😉).

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1. Emotional Sabotage: When Good Feels Unsafe

You finally get the thing you prayed for – a loving partner, a calm week, a win at work – and suddenly, you’re only waiting for it to disappear. You overthink, question motives, or pick small fights because deep down, you don’t feel safe in peace.

If this resonates, your nervous system might still associate safety with struggle. Learning to trust calm is its own kind of healing.

📖 Read: Attached by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller – a great resource for understanding attachment patterns and why closeness can sometimes feel uncomfortable.

🎧 Listen to: Sunshine by Lily Meola – a reminder to soften into joy. 🌻✨

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2. Mental Sabotage: Overthinking, Overworking, Overlearning

Sometimes we call it productivity. Sometimes “being prepared.” But truthfully? You might just be avoiding action.

You sign up for courses but never apply them.
You fill your schedule so full you don’t have to sit with discomfort.
You tell yourself you’re being logical – yet your gut keeps whispering something else.

There’s a fine line between self-improvement and self-distraction. Real growth starts when we pause and implement what we already know.

📖 Read: The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest – about how self-sabotage is really self-protection. (I’ll admit, I thought it was overhyped at first, but it’s actually good!)

🎧 Listen to: Vienna by Billy Joel – a timeless reminder that you don’t have to rush your becoming. It’s my absolute favourite!!! 🙃😉

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3. Worthiness Sabotage: When You Feel You Don’t Deserve It

You treat others with compassion but talk to yourself like your own enemy.
You buy something nice, and guilt immediately follows: “Do I even deserve this?”

This kind of sabotage thrives in unhealed shame.
You don’t need to earn rest, love, or joy – they’re your birthright.

📖 Read: Believe It by Jamie Kern Lima – one of the most uplifting, action-provoking books I’ve read.

🎧 Listen to: Light On by Maggie Rogers – play it as if your higher self is singing it to you. 🙌🏼

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Let’s Go Deeper

If you saw yourself in any of these patterns and want to understand why you tend to overgive, overwork, or overthink – take my Growth Archetype Quiz.

It’s a quick, free self-awareness tool that helps you see which growth pattern you’re currently in and how to shift toward your next level.

✨Take the quiz here →​

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So today, here’s my Question For You:

What would it look like if you stopped making it harder for yourself to receive good things?

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Growing with you,
Denielle ✿(◠‿◠)✿

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