3 Surprising Things That Hindered My Growth (Maybe Yours Too)

Happy Monday, Reader!

While I was away from creating content, I took a long, honest look at my personal and professional life – and uncovered ways I’ve been unknowingly holding myself back.

Today, I’m sharing a few of them with you. 🙈 My hope is that by reading this, you’ll spot where you might be stuck too – and feel inspired to shift, release, or reframe what’s in the way.

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1. Waiting Too Long to Eat the Damn Marshmallow

If there were a contest for self-control, I’d probably win it. My husband and I decided to have a baby after five years, and just like clockwork, that’s exactly what happened.

We grew into the idea slowly – and when it finally happened, I realized something surprising: the very thing I waited so long for was the thing that supercharged my happiness and growth. I was birthed more than I gave birth. I’ve met new people in old, familiar bodies of mine and my husband.

You’ve probably heard of the famous marshmallow experiment with kids: they’re told they can eat one marshmallow now or wait and get two later.

For a long time, we believed that those who wait are more likely to succeed and those that didn’t will simply come after the fleeting pleasures of life.

But as I’ve grown older, I’ve realized two things:

a. The point of life is to simply be happy, content and free. If we delay joy too long, we lose the very fuel that drives growth – joy is the fuel to grow. 🌱

b. Nobody told us until when we should wait to eat the marshmallow. Wisdom is learning how many we really need. How much is enough? Do we even really want this marshmallow? 🤔

And no, I am no longer talking about marshmallows.

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2. Growing Into an Introverted Person

Sometimes I think that if I had not become introverted then maybe I will be further in my corporate career. I wasn’t always an introvert you know. When I was still at the university, I was a total extrovert… until I landed my first job and realised, I’m really not.

Every time I try to “play the corporate game,” I step back. Something doesn’t feel true. I admire those who can do it naturally – but I just can’t fake it.

Recently at a large industry exhibition, I caught myself thinking “I should be talking to more people.”

On the way home, I coached myself through it. I asked: What exactly about this experience feels off?

Here’s what I realised: It’s not that I don’t like people. I just don’t like crowds – and I really don’t enjoy shallow, surface-level interactions.

Interestingly, when I go to smaller networking events – especially coaching-related ones – or when I speak on stage, I don’t feel drained. I actually feel refueled.

So, it’s not about introversion being a weakness. It’s about preferring genuine, deep connections over small talk and hustle vibes. ✨

At the exhibition, I gave myself permission to focus only on the conversations that felt meaningful to me. I stopped judging myself for not wanting to talk to everyone.

I’m great at many things – and it’s okay that this isn’t one of them.

It’s okay to step back from things that don’t energize you. Even if everyone else seems to thrive in them.

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3. Not identifying my style sooner

This may sound small, but deciding what to wear drains me. I often think: if I didn’t have to choose an outfit every day, I’d save so much energy and brain power. So, I’ve started building a capsule wardrobe that actually reflects me.

I admire women who are always perfectly polished – but only to a certain extent. I’ve started asking: What’s negotiable and what’s not?

For example: I realised that I really hate getting manicured – you know when they cut your cuticle. I find it ridiculous, why would you cut the part that attaches your nails? 😑

But I love a full foot spa and a pedicure. I love having long lashes, but I don’t like the feeling of when they start falling out.

It’s easy to get carried away of what you “should” be doing when you look at what everyone else is doing.

I’ve decided that I can still do things that make you look presentable, but in my way. 💅🏻

I still get manicure, but I ask them to stop cutting my cuticle. I still get nail polish, but I won’t grow my nails for that.

And maybe that’s part of growing and leading too – figuring out how to show up in a way that feels like you. Not polished for the sake of it, but expressed in your own rhythm.

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Question for You This Week

Growth often begins with a single honest question. So, here’s one for you to sit with this week:
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• Is there a part of your life that no longer fits – but you’re still trying to squeeze into?
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• What are you tired of pretending to enjoy?
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• Where are you waiting for permission that only you can give?

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Take a moment. Pick one. Let it sit with you.

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I’d love to hear your thoughts or what comes up for you. Feel free to hit reply – I read every message, and I write back.

If this resonated with you, forward this to a friend who might need to hear this today.

Orrrr take a screenshot 🤳🏻of the part that spoke to you most and tag me on Instagram @trainwithdanenow so we can keep this conversation going. I’d love to see what landed for you.

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Have a great week ahead, dearest ones! ♡⸜(˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝

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To hell with it,
Dane